MDD. What does that mean to you? No, not Male Douchebag Disorder.
The first time I saw this term, I was trying to sneak a peak at what my psychiatrist was writing on his pad as we talked. I knew I was depressed. He knew I was depressed. The lady next door knew I was depressed, but what exactly is MMD or Major Depressive Disorder?
Depression is a medical illness that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Depression can cause physical symptoms, too.
Also called major depression, major depressive disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave. Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn’t worth living.
More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn’t a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply “snap out” of. Depression is a chronic illness that usually requires long-term treatment, like diabetes or high blood pressure. But don’t get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or other treatment.
Depression symptoms include:
- Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
- Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
- Reduced sex drive
- Insomnia or excessive sleeping
- Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain
- Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
- Irritability or angry outbursts
- Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
- Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
- Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren’t going right
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
- Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
- Crying spells for no apparent reason
- Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
I think we have all been depressed or blue at one point in our lives so I’m sure that most people can understand some of these symptoms. Unfortunately, when you’re suffering through depression, you feel so alone. If you’ve been following my blog since early this year, you probably know what I went through last year. It was the worst experience I’ve ever had, and I’m constantly afraid of getting to that low point again. Being hospitalized various times (some of them against my will) is something that changed me profoundly. As terrible as that experience was, I also think it was necessary for my safety and well-being at the time. My biggest regret about that whole episode in my life is that I was too ashamed to ask for help when things first started to overwhelm me. I’ve been dealing with depression since my late teens, and I figured that I would be able to deal with it once again. However, there were many other things going on that added extra stress to my life…it was essentially the perfect storm.
The main think I would like to say about all this is that you are NOT alone so don’t be afraid to ask for help. With the help of friends, family, medical professionals and the appropriate medication, I feel that I am on my way to getting better. I’m not saying that I’m “cured” because I know that I will have to manage my depression for the rest of my life, but at least I now know that it CAN get better.
Since October is depression awareness month (as well as breast cancer awareness month), here are my green nails:
Nubar Kiwi is soft pastel green from their Jellybeans Collection. I had forgotten how sheer this polish is so I ended up applying a coat of white polish underneath and applied two coats of Kiwi over that.
I used Konad special green polish and Bundle Monster plate BM 324 for this design. I know I have other plates with ribbon designs but I can’t find them!!! I am going to look for them today and hopefully I haven’t lost them.
If you are suffering from depression, please don’t be afraid to get help. You are not alone.